


The attack of Moon Moon

by deadlegato



Category: Talespin (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:48:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25677598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadlegato/pseuds/deadlegato
Summary: Don Karnage's cousin, Moon Moon the walking disaster zone, comes to visit Cape Suzette. How much of the city will be left when Moon Moon is done with it?
Kudos: 2





	The attack of Moon Moon

“Strangers to the Cape Suzette skies, even you are vulnerable to a raid by the pirates of the great Captain Don Karnage. Which is myself, of course! Prepared to be boardwalked!” Karnage boasted through his megaphone as his men prepared to board the light aircraft they had captured. It was not a plane they were familiar with. The idea of fresh meat excited the crew. As the pirates swung in, Karnage continued “Prepare to hand over your valuable trinkets and knick-ACKS!” he choked as suddenly a young red wolf in a country-style gingham dress and oversized straw hat tackled him around the chest, knocking both of them flat on the floor of the plane.

“Cousin Karny!” the wolf declared in what was the strangest combination of a Cuban accent and a southern country drawl ever heard spoken on this planet. “You didn’t have to put on a big show just for a visit from lil’ ol me!”

“Ack- Luna?” he asked.

“In the fur!” she announced. She frankly looked more like she should be Rachet’s cousin than Karnage’s. She had the longer nose, and the lack of white coloring on the upper muzzle. Her fur was several shades darker than his, patched with grey in places.

“What- what are you doing here?!”

“Aw you don’t have to act so humble cous! I know you got my letters about the trip around the world I won in the big Publishing Condo Sweepstakes. Bringing your whole crew out to meet me, what a swell family I have!” she leaped up and started violently shaking all the pirate’s hands. “Hello, hello, nice to meet ya’all! Name’s Luna Moon!”

“Captain, is this really your…?” Dumptruck asked, pointing towards her as a coughing Karnage picked himself off the floor. He was pretty certain she’d bruised at least one of his ribs with that tackle.

“My mother’s sister married a man whose sister is the mother of… that,” he said dryly. Gibber whispered something to Karnage, who replied to him with “You are correct. Luna does mean moon. Her name is Moon Moon.”

“She’s… um… strong…” Hacksaw said, still vibrating from the vigorous handshake she’d given him.

“You bet your tail I’m strong,” she said, flexing. “Three years in a row winner of the ladies haybale carrying championship at the county fair. Six time local yodeling champion, too!”

“What my… ah… cousin here has in strength, she does not match in intellect.”

“Aw, cous, don’t make my blush! You’re too nice to me!” she grinned, completely unaware that she’d just been insulted. “Say cous, I’m scheduled to spend a few days in this area. Why don’t you show me around and let these nice pilots who have been flying me so far take a break?”

At the same time the crew noticed the color draining out of Karnage’s face, “YES! PLEASE!” the other pilots cried, suddenly leaping from their seats and shoving suitcases at the pirates. “Please take her! We’ll be back to pick her up at the end of her scheduled stay in Cape Suzette!” They shouted, basically shoving the pirates out the door with Luna and her luggage.

“Aw, those guys know how important family is to me! What sweet guys,” Luna said through a smile.

.

“You’ve been wearing a hole in the floor pacing since we got back, captain,” Jock observed.

“It is that cousin of mine, she is a walking disaster zone! Destruction, despair, and mayhem follow her around like chicks behind the hen! And not even the good kind of mayhem,” Karnage snapped. “She has the best luck of any living person, but it is because she sucks the luck out of everyone around her. If a hurricane came through an island she was standing on, everything would be gone except her! If a house fell down, the window of the falling building would go around, leaving her untouched! Who knows what disaster she is going to bring down upon my beautiful plane!”

“But captain, I thought you always said you didn’t believe in luck, only skill,” Dumptruck noted.

“When it comes to my cousin, I rescind all statements regarding the existence thereof of luck,” he answered.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little overdramatic, captain?” Jock asked. “How much trouble could one woman cause?”

At that moment, there was a loud crash from another part of the Vulture. “You had to ask,” Karnage said through gritted teeth.

When they got to the lower part of the Vulture, they found pirates everywhere and soda dripping from virtually every wall. “What happened here?” Karnage demanded.

Five minutes earlier:

Luna was engaged in a spirted arm-wrestling match, which she referred to as an arm wrasslin match, with a young pirate who didn’t believe she could be as strong as she said. An unopened bottle of soda sat on the table next to them. As they were getting into it, the young pirate was unwilling to admit that he was losing to a woman, so he threw himself into it. Perhaps he threw himself into it a little too much. The table ended up tipping from their struggle. Both participants noticed the table was starting to fall and jumped up. Luna jumped safely clear of the table. The pirate’s foot landed straight on the bottle of soda, which had fallen to the ground. He slipped on the round surface, falling backwards into the crowd that had gathered to watch the fight and knocking several other pirates down. As he fell, he kicked the bottle, causing it to go flying. When it hit the wall the cork exploded out, causing a soda rocket to be launched directly back at the crowd of spectators, who panicked and dove every possible direction to get out of its way.

“Phew boy!” Luna said. “I’m glad none of that got on my nice travelling hat or dress. Just lucky me I guess!”

“Yes. Lucky,” Karnage replied dryly.

“Say, cous, when we gonna do some sight-seeing? I wanna take in the local culture!”

“You want to do some…” Karnage paused. He had an idea. A terrible, awful idea. An absolutely wicked, no good idea. “Why of course, dearest cousin. You should see all the local sights, and such sights have I to show you!” he replied, his voice suddenly sickeningly sweet. The crew knew from that tone that something was cooking in their captain’s brain, and they didn’t know then whether they were more afraid of him, or his cousin Moon Moon.

.

“You didn’t have to get all dressed up for me, cous,” Luna said through a smile.

“Oh no, dearest cousin, it is not just for you. You see, everyone loves me here, so they would want to shower me with gifts and adoration if they knew it was I, the great Don Karnage. So, I must disguise myself to give you the fullest local experience without prejudice.” He was wearing dark sunglasses, a fedora style hat, and light-colored shirt common to how nearly every casual-dressed man in the area looked. He also had a pair of matching light-colored shorts, as going san pants was something the locals did that he wasn’t exactly comfortable with. With his eyes and ears covered and without his usual uniform or boots, he had obscured his most identifying characteristics. In fact, one of the things that had both vexed him and gotten him out of trouble in the past was that anyone who wasn’t really familiar with him assumed from the black and white posters identifying his species as wolf that he should be grey-furred. He had managed to slip under quite a few noses of authorities not expecting the somewhat foxish looking man to be the wolf they were hunting. The only thing left was his voice, and he figured that if he stayed relatively quiet and let Luna do the talking (which Luna loved to do), no one would put the presence of Don Karnage and the presence of the walking disaster together.

“Aaaaw, you really are the best cousin a girl could hope for!” she replied, giving him another rib-tingling squeeze.

“I am your only living cousin,” he choked. “Do not squeeze so hard or you might not be having living cousins.”

“So, what’s so great about this Lew-weys place you’re taking me to?” she asked.

“Well, I must admit that he does serve the tastiest drinks and deserts. Although I am slightly… miffed at the proprietor for an incident surrounding my birthday. Ah, but do not mention that. Remember that I am in the cognito tonight.” Louie thought filling his base with fireworks was funny, did he? Well, tonight Karnage was bringing the fireworks to him.

“Oooh, like a spy! I love spy movies!” Luna declared.

“Exactly like a spy, so remember not to blowing over my cover, yes?”

“You got it, cous!” she said, saluting. “Oh, wait though, I can’t call you my cousin and use your name if you’re being all spy, right?” she asked.

“No one knows you are my cousin, so I think this are fine, just taking the care not to wear out my name.”

He was used to everyone going for their guns when he entered Louie’s. When no one gave him or Luna a second glance, he was elated this his plan was working. Now all he had to do was sit tight, wait for Luna’s luck to kick in, and run like hell for the exits before he got caught in the crossfire. He was slightly worried that Louie himself would see through his disguise, but fortunately one of the other monkeys was serving as their waiter. So far, Luna’s bizarre luck was holding.

He was starting to get nervous that Luna’s luck was going to betray him when they made it all the way to desert without anything happening, other than an abnormal number of waiters tripping and dropping trays of glasses when in Luna’s vicinity. It wasn’t until they were finishing up when Luna announced “That sure was a great meal, cuz, but a bit spicy for me. I gotta visit the ladies’ room to powder my noggin, if you know what I mean.” As she stood up suddenly, she crashed the back of her chair into a rhino who had been walking behind her.

“Oops, beg pardon!” she said as she skipped off towards the bathrooms, oblivious. The rhino, however, had fallen so far forward and with such force that he had crashed into the counter, splintering it where he landed. His crash landing sent salt and pepper shakers as well as napkin holders and silverware flying. One of those napkin holders came down on a family-size plate of spaghetti being carried by a waiter hard enough that it flipped out of his hands and through the air several times, showering shouting patrons with tomato sauce and meatballs as it tumbled. At the same time, a saltshaker came down perfectly on the handle of a pan on the stove, flipping the hot pan up into the leafy canopy overhead and lighting it on fire. A pepper shaker crashed through the front of the newly installed jukebox, causing it to fire up into a sprightly tune as monkeys rushed to put out the fire while screaming sauced patrons stampeded for the doors. One of the monkeys started to twist open the kitchen sink faucet when another screamed at him not to use water on a grease fire. As he tried to twist it shut again, the entire faucet broke off in his hands, sending a spray of water straight up and into the grease fire, causing it to grow enormously as it spread across the ceiling.

By that point, Karnage had gone with escape plan. He had the waiter sit them next to a window, and at the first sign of trouble, he had dived out of the building through the window. Once he was clear of the smoke and the heat, he stood outside with the other patrons watching as fire brigade planes zoomed in from the direction of the city. He was admiring the glow of the ceiling flames when Luna came up beside him, starling him into a jump. “Wowie, what happened here?!” she asked.

“Luna! I… um, I mean, I was very worried for you! How did you get out?!”

“Oh, the only women’s room was in use, and I couldn’t wait, so I snuck out the kitchen door and ah… did my business the outhouse way, if you’ll excuse the crude language, cous. Looks like that was fortunate because I might have been stuck in there with that fire if I’d waited for the ladies!”

“Please do not touch me,” he said in disgust, assuming correctly she had not washed her hands. “And yes, how… strangely lucky.”

.

“Fortunately, all that burned before the fire squad got here was the kitchen and part of the roof.” Louie explained to Baloo the following day. As soon as he heard there had been a fire at Louie’s, he had rushed immediately to the scene, leaving Rebecca behind on the dock shouting angrily about their shipping schedule.

“But… but… the kitchen! Does that mean…”

“It means no burgers or anything for at least a couple of weeks while we rebuild,” Louie answered. “I’m just grateful they saved enough of the place that we can. The entire place could have gone up!”

Baloo took hold of his friend by the shoulders. “Tell me whatever you need to get the rebuilding done and I will deliver it as fast as bearily possible,” he said, sounding the most serious he had in years. “No charge.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I think your boss might have some words about you putting off paying customers to make free runs for me.”

“You’re our friend, I’m sure she would understand.”

“Well, you better get your butt back there and make SURE she understands before you find yourself out of a job.”

“Fine,” Baloo pouted. “But before I go, how did it start?”

Louie shook his head. “I didn’t believe what my staff told me, and the firemen didn’t believe them either.”

.

“I sure had a great time last night, cous!” Luna said brightly. “And you didn’t have to go through all the trouble of having your crew make me breakfast in bed. I could have cooked my own eggs.”

“NO! You are not going anywhere near our kitchen- ah, I mean, not going anywhere near our kitchen while you are on your vacation. You should be enjoying yourself, not working, yes-no?”

“I guess, cous. I just don’t want to feel like I’m a burden on you or your crew.”

“My dearest, you are no burden, you are my precious cousin! Unfortunately, I must work today and cannot accompany you on your journey, but I know of a very great pilot who would love to take you for a sight-seeing tour around the area. I will even give you far more than his usual pay rate for his time.”

“My cousin is the best, he’s always so nice to everyone!” she said with a broad grin. Her outfit today looked the same as yesterday, except today was red, and yesterday had been white. How she found so many identical not only outfits but hats, Karnage had no idea.

.

Baloo heard a loud crash on the docks as he was loading up cargo and went to investigate. One of the water taxis had crashed into a pole. The operator was out of the taxi and thrashing around in the bay, while his patron looked on in concern. “Hold the oar out to me so I can pull myself back to the boat!” the operator sputtered.

“Okay, like this- oops!” Luna said as she lost hold of the oar, sending it right down onto the operator’s head with a thunk.

Baloo and Kit came to the aid of the water taxi operator, now with a goose-egg sized lump on his head from being hit with the oar. “What happened?” Kit asked.

“Darn if I know,” he groaned. “My controls suddenly went out as we were nearing the shore and we got stuck at speed. I’ve never seen it happen before.”

“Are you all right, miss…?”

“Luna Moon,” she introduced herself, vigorously shaking Baloo’s hand. He thought he could hear his bones crunch under her grip. “I’m sure glad the big strong men of Cape Suzette come out even to help a little ol’ tourist like me!”

Baloo slightly blushed, not being used to being called a big strong man. “Let me help you out of the boat so you don’t get your feet wet,” he offered.

“Why thank you, they sure are gentlemanly around these parts!” she smiled. Just as Baloo had gotten her safely on land though, he put his foot down directly on a buried crab. The crab, displeased, clamped its claw down on his toes, causing him to scream and hop backwards in such a way that he tripped and went for a full body backwards emersion into the bay.

“I’m so sorry about your foot,” Luna apologized as Kit rounded up some ice for Baloo.

“It wasn’t your fault, little lady. Where are you visiting from?”

“I’m from the Cuban islands, originally, but moved to the southern states when I was a girl pup! Happened after my parents got tired of our island getting hit with hurricanes. I won a trip around the world in a contest.”

“A trip around the world? Wow, you must be one lucky lady,” Baloo noted.

“Aw, you city boys are just trying to make a country girl blush.”

“My name’s Baloo, by the way, and this is Kit. I don’t think we introduced ourselves.”

Her eyes brightened. “Baloo you say? Is this Higher for Hire?”

“It is… but how does a tourist know about us?”

“Oh, because it’s my lucky day! You see, the tour company pilots can’t take me out for a tour today due to plane problems, but they gave me some cash and told me to go see Mr. Baloo, best pilot in the area, and try to arrange some sight seeing while they get her all fixed up,” Luna said, dutifully reciting the story Karnage had fed her. Once again, he’d also given her the line about how Baloo would feel obligated to do it without pay if he knew she was a cousin of his ‘good friend’ and Karnage didn’t feel that would be ‘fair.’ Once again, she believed this as being evidence of her cousin’s good nature. “I can’t believe I ran into you by accident, I must really be a lucky girl.”

“Well, we’ve already got a run to make today, but it’s to another island in the area so if you want to come along just to see what you can… sea, I guess I don’t see any harm in that.” That was a confusing sentence. 0

“Oh, please, I insist on paying,” she said, extending the money Karnage had given her. It was a small price to pay for what he anticipated would come next.

“Say, are you interested in seeing some of the famous Kit Cloudkicker’s even more famous cloud surfing?” Baloo asked as they flew out over the seas surrounding Cape Suzette.

“Cloud surfing? What’s that?” Luna asked.

“Well then, you are in for a treat! Let’s show her what you can do,” Baloo said brightly to Kit.

“Ow, wow,” Luna said as she watched Kit through the opening at the back of the plane. “That’s too daring for me! I’d be darn scared of falling!”

“Don’t worry, Kit’s practically a pro at this.”

“He’s even so much of a pro he doesn’t need the rope!” Luna said brightly.

“He doesn’t nee the- KIT!” Baloo screamed as he looked back and saw the rope Kit used snapped in half. “Hold on to your seat, Luna, I’m coming for Kit!”

Fortunately, Kit knew how to glide on updrafts and downdrafts enough to get himself down to the sea, where he made a safe if hard landing. Holding onto the edge of his air foil in the water, he gave a wave to Baloo as the Sea Duck landed as close as Baloo dared to get. Any closer and the wake from the pontoons might have put Kit in danger of being swamped by waves. Baloo only started to breathe again when he saw Kit using his air foil as a kickboard to swim back towards the Sea Duck.

“What a landing! That’s too exciting for me! But… what’s that behind him?” Luna asked, pointing out at the ocean. “Is that a tiny sail?”

Baloo turned white and ran to the back of the plane, waving his arms in the air. “KIT! KIIIIIT! BIG SHARK!” he shouted.

Kit looked back to see a huge grey and white shark rising out of the water behind him. With a scream, he pulled up his air foil and used it to dash the shark right across the snout. This startled the shark enough to push it back temporarily. Kit had never kicked so hard or swam so fast in his life, the shark rising out of the water behind him with its great jaw agape. The shark was dangerously close to clamping its mouth on Kit when Baloo tossed a crate out of the back, beaning the shark right between the eyes. It sank back in the water long enough for Kit to scramble back into the Sea Duck and Baloo to pull the lever to close the back doors.

“That was too close for comfort!” Baloo sighed as he checked Kit. He was wet and tired, but fortunately not otherwise harmed. A moment later, there was a loud slamming at the back door.

“What’s that?” Kit asked in panic.

“The shark is ramming us,” Baloo noted. “Stupid shark, it can’t bite through metal.”

“Can it bite through glass?” Luna asked.

“No, I don’t think-“ a moment later, there was a crashing sound. The shark had thrown itself up onto the nose of the Sea Duck and crashed through the pilot side window. It was thrashing around, snapping up pieces of the seat in its jaw and throwing the stuffing around.

The three in the back of the plane screamed in unison. The shark continued to thrash back and forth, trying to wriggle through the broken windshield. Baloo had to pick up another crate and use it to beat back the shark enough to get to the controls. “Let’s get out of here, this shark is nuts!” he announced.

As they were taking off and thought they were on their way to safety, the plane tugged sharply to the right. Kit looked out the window. “The shark is hanging on our pontoon!” he shouted.

“What is wrong with that shark?!” Baloo asked, shaking the plane to try to shake the shark off. It flapped around in the air but maintained its grip. “Do we look like a tuna?!”

“You may not look like a tuna but I sure smell tuna, phew,” Luna pointed out, fingers dug nervously into her seat.

A lightbulb suddenly went off in Baloo’s head. “We’re carrying fresh seafood!” he shouted to Kit. “No wonder that shark is going bananas! We probably smell like a Sunday buffet.”

“You could have mentioned that sooner!” Kit shouted. The shark’s thrashing kept throwing the plane off balance, causing the wings to flap side to side as Baloo tried to maintain a straight path.

“Never thought you could get seasick in the air,” Luna complained, covering her mouth.

“Why won’t that stupid shark let go?”

“I think its teeth are stuck in the pontoon,” Kit pointed out. 

Flying the rest of the way with a flailing shark stuck on the plane wasn’t exactly what they had planned to do, but it was what happened. The shark’s constant movement throwing the plane off balance was taking a toll on the engines, and the instruments showed they were getting dangerously hot as they made their approach. By the time they safely arrived at their destination, a fine layer of dark smoke was running out of both engines. As they touched down, only then did the shark pop off and slap back into the water.

“Darn it, I was hoping we could give the proprietor a bucket of shark to make up for the missing boxes,” Baloo sighed.

“Wowie, that sure was fun!” Luna laughed. “You guys sure know how to give a good show!”

Baloo and Kit had to wait on the island for a repair plane to arrive, their engines too damaged from the hot run to risk a ride back without a tune-up. In the meantime, they radioed for another water taxi to return Luna back to the sea transit station. “Sorry we’re not able to take you home, Miss Luna,” Baloo apologized as he helped her into the taxi.

“Please don’t apologize, you boys gave me a great ride!” she said. “My cousin was sure right when he said this would be fun.”

“Your cousin? Wait, I thought you said…“ but it was too late for Baloo to finish his thought. The taxi was disappearing off across the water. “Well, at least the extra she paid us will cover the unexpected repairs. Can you give it to the repair man, Kit?”

“Me? What makes you think I took the money?” Kit asked.

Baloo paused. “Didn’t she give you something?”

“She gave me a tip, but not the bulk of the money. I thought she gave YOU the bulk of the money.”

“You mean- oh, no,” Baloo moaned, slapping his forehead with his palm.

Out on the boat, a thought suddenly occurred to Luna. “Oh, oh no! I forgot to give him the money! Darn it, I told him he should take it at the start, not at the end. Dang my slippery memory!! Ah well, I can give it to my cousin and ask him to get it to them.”

.

Having finally returned home but unable to fly until Wild Cat unraveled the mystery of the engines, Baloo decided to try another local dive joint for dinner. He generally avoided Seedy Joe’s not only because it competed with Louie’s, but because it was, well… literally seedy. It was the kind of place that would have gladly catered to the air pirates if they could have gotten through the cliff guns.

He was trying to choke down a drink that came in a glass with someone else’s fingerprints on it when a nearby conversation perked his ears up. “I’m so glad to be rid of that Luna Moon disaster even if it’s only for a few days. You think we can quit mid-trip?”

“We’ll be blacklisted from passenger flights if we quit!”

“It might be worth it. There can’t be any cargo that’s as dangerous as that woman.”

“Excuse me, guys?” Baloo said. “Pardon me for eavesdropping, but did I hear you mention Luna Moon?”

“Ha ha, did she get you too?” one of the pilots asked with a shake of his head. “Sorry man, real sorry.”

“Well, I’ve certainly had an… interesting encounter with her. Can you tell me more?” he asked, joining them at their table. The chair wobbled threateningly under him.

“She won a contest for a trip around the world. We’re the third crew that’s tried to finish that trip. Two other planes both mysteriously crashed, and the cruise ship that rescued her after the second crash sank within sight of shore. Each time, she gets out without a scratch. I never believed in curses or jinxes until I met her. She’s made me a believer. What happened to you?”

“A rope mysteriously broke while she was riding in my plane, we were attacked by a shark, and my mechanic has no idea what’s wrong with my engines. Says he’s never seen any damage like it.” Baloo paused. “Wait, how long has she been in the area? Did she arrive before the fire are Louie’s?!”

“She did,” the pilots nodded, then looked at one another. “You… ah… you know anyone around here who is hiring cargo pilots if we quit our jobs as passenger pilots?”

“You don’t want to get hired around here,” a one-eyed old man walking behind them chimed in. “Too many damn air pirates.”

“Air pirates, that’s the other thing. Did you know that Luna woman is apparently the local air pirate’s cousin?”

“WHAT?!” Baloo shouted, causing the place to look angrily at him as he jumped out of his chair. Embarrassed, he sat sheepishly back down. “Sorry, what did you say?”

“Just adding to our bad luck, when we got to this area, we got jumped by an overstuffed air pirate, and it turns out he’s her cousin.”

Baloo remembered Luna making an off-hand comment about her cousin. Things suddenly fell together for him. He threw down more than enough money to cover his nasty drink. “Sorry guys, I gotta scoot!”

.

He explained his theory back at Higher for Hire headquarters. “You’re telling me you really believe Don Karnage has weaponized his cousin’s bad luck?” Rebecca asked, obviously incredulous.

“Becky, we’ve seen dinosaurs, we’ve swapped bodies, and we’ve had literal gremlins in our engines. You’re going to tell me you don’t believe in weaponized bad luck?”

“… Okay, fair point.”

“We have to figure out where he’s sending her next before she causes another disaster! He’s sending her after people he doesn’t like. First Louie, then us…”

“The cliff gunners!” Kit declared.

“How would he do that? It’s not exactly like they offer tours of the area, or even let civilians near.”

“… How near does she need to get? There are hiking trails in that area that come pretty close to the guns. My club has explored those trails, we could get right up to the chain link fence around the area. We’ve got to prevent Luna’s luck from reaching the cliff guns!”

.

“Were… were these mountains always so steep?” Baloo wheezed, huffing as he followed Kit up the mountain.

“They haven’t allowed anyone to fly in since the pirates tried to use lunch delivery to disable the guns. We don’t have a choice,” Rebecca pointed out, walking behind him and trying to help push him up the hill.

“But did we have to start so EARLY too?”

“We have to get up to the central hub point for the trails before Luna can get there and wait for her. Once we see her, we convince her to return to her cousin’s place before she can… start a land slide, or something worse.”

As the day dragged on, and the trio fanned themselves with newspapers from the heat and swatted away biting flies. “What’s taking her so long?” Baloo asked.

“Maybe we miscalculated,” Kit suggested.

“What else would Karnage want to attack?” Baloo replied. A moment later he got his answer, as they heard a loud crackling boom from the distance and saw smoke rising from the Khan Industries main building.

“Oh,” Baloo said.

.

Outside of the Khan Industries headquarters, a slightly ash dusted Karnage in disguise coughed violently, trying to get the remaining smoke taste out of his lungs. “Wowie,” Luna crowed. There wasn’t even any dust on her dress. “I’ve never seen a building go up like that! Big cities really are something else, aren’t they, cous?”

A few moments earlier, they’d been on a routine tour of the building. An industry scientist had asked for a volunteer to do a quick demonstration in the product development labs. Luna had enthusiastically raised her hand and been chosen as an assistant. Karnage wasn’t exactly sure what the chain of events that followed was, but at some point, he’d been running from a flaming wall with electric sparks flying dangerously close to his face. He could smell singed fur, and he wasn’t sure if it was his or not.

As they stood with the crowd watching the firefighters arrive, the firefighters tried to hook up to a hydrant closest to where Luna was standing. The hydrant exploded, throwing the hydrant itself through a window of the smoking building. A huge plume of water surged up from the broken hydrant, leaving behind a thoroughly soaked Karnage as well as the other tourists. Luna had been standing in just the right place that she’d only gotten a few drips on her feet.

“You smell like a wet dog, cousin,” Luna said.

“Thank you for noticing,” Karnage replied, trying to shake himself at least somewhat dry.

“Well, that tour sure was fun! What are we going to do after lunch?”

“After lunch?” he asked, then looked up at the cliffs. “Well, I suppose I have a brilliant idea, yes…”

.

At the same time, Baloo, Kit, and Rebecca were scrambling down the cliffs to see what had happened in the city. Baloo was getting more and more winded, so the group came to a stop, letting him rest on a boulder. “Why don’t you stay here and rest while Kit and I go on ahead?” Rebecca asked, afraid Baloo might drop if he went further. Sweat was pouring off his face like a fountain, and he was huffing like a freight train.

Kit and Rebecca had long disappeared into the distance by the time Baloo finally got his breath back. He could feel all the insect bites on his skin starting to itch. As he stood up to begin his final descent down the cliffs, the wind changed direction slightly. Not only did it bring a nice breeze, it brought a familiar chilling voice down with it. “Why you looking so tired, cous? This hike is a piece of cake!”

Baloo looked up. He could see Luna and someone else higher on the cliffs. Kit had been right about the location; he’d just been wrong about the timing. Had he not managed to hear her, he would have completely missed them going around him on another trail. “HEY!” Baloo shouted, leaping up from his sitting position.

Luna looked down and started to wave. It took Baloo a moment to realize it was Karnage with her through his disguise. Karnage grabbed Luna by the arm and started pulling her up the mountain behind him. Baloo had to stop them. He took off running up the rock face with every bit of energy he had left in him.

“Why are we hurrying, cous?” Luna asked with a pout. “Can’t we wait for Mr. Baloo to join us? He was so nice!”

“That… that is not Mr. Baloo, that is… his evil twin brother, Mr. Baboo,” Karnage lied. “He is a very bad man. We need to run so that he cannot catching up with us.”

“Oh, evil twins even! I keep being amazed by big city life!” Luna said as he continued to hurry-drag her up the mountain.

Baloo realized he was at a disadvantage. Karnage and Luna were both in considerably better shape than he was, in terms of both speed and stamina. The likelihood he’d be able to catch up with them on just his own power was small, and he was too far away to return to the Sea Duck and try to fly back. He had to try something else. He stopped and did the first thing that came to mind: he let out a loud yodel. He didn’t really know why he did it, and he didn’t expect what would happen next.

Luna ground to a halt. “Luna, what are you doing?” Karnage demanded.

“That man’s challenging me to a yodel-off! I can’t turn that down!” she replied with her own loud, howling yodel.

“Do not do that!” Karnage said, grabbing her arm. “The cliff rocks are unstable, and…” He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as the air was filled with the sound of a roar in the air. He looked up to see a jumble of rocks coming straight for them. “Rockslide!” he shouted, taking off as fast as he could back down the cliffs without regard for his cousin.

Down the hill, Baloo started to hear the rumble only a moment before Karnage and Luna tore past him, half running and half sliding down the rocks. “Hi, Mr. Baboo. Bye, Mr. Baboo!” she shouted and waved as they ran past. A moment later, Baloo was running with all his power behind them, the rockslide nipping at his heels.

He spotted a large rock overhang just ahead. With a sideways jump, he tackled Karnage with one arm and Luna with the other, throwing the three of them beneath the overhang. The rockslide roared by directly over their heads as the ground shook around them. “Cover your heads!” Baloo shouted as the stones continued to rain down, pinging off the overhang above them.

When the commotion concluded, the three crawled out from beneath the overhang. Baloo and Karnage were both scratched badly on the hands and knees where they’d landed in the tackle. Luna, true to form, had not a scratch on her.

“I can’t believe they would let people walk on a trail that is that unstable,” Luna huffed, hands on her hips. “When the authorities get here, I’m going to give them a piece of my mind.”

“Yes, authorities,” Baloo said, grabbing Karnage and twisting one of his arms behind his back. “I think all three of us should have a word with authorit…” Baloo wasn’t able to finish his sentence as one final rock coming down the hill banged him directly on the head, knocking him flat out on the ground.

“Mr. Baboo!” Luna cried.

“Oh, how terrible! We should run to the base of the mountain and summon help immediately!” Karnage feigned concern.

When Baloo regained consciousness, Kit and Rebecca were both at his side as he was loaded onto a stretcher by mountain rescue. Karnage and Luna were long gone.

.

“Sorry I wasn’t able to stay longer, cous. Turns out my pilots quit flying passengers. That’s too bad, they were real nice guys. But the nice company that gave me the trip has arranged passage for the next leg of my trip on a cruise ship so that will be real nice,” Luna said as she packed her bags into speed boat that would take her to the cruise ship dock.

“Yes, very sorry you could not stay. Please forget to write.”

“Don’t you mean don’t forget to write?” she laughed. “Oh, you’re so silly, cous! See you later!” she waved as the boat pulled away.

“Not if I can help it,” Karnage grunted. He looked down and saw something green sticking out from under his boot. He moved it to reveal a four-leaf clover. “What is this?” he asked.

“Oh, we covered the Iron Vulture in good luck charms while Luna was here to protect it from her. Isn’t that smart, captain?” Mad Dog said.

“WHAT?! Did you not listening to me!?” he screamed. “Luna drains the good luck from around her and turns it into bad luck! The more good luck you surround Luna with, the worse the disaster!!”

“I suppose this is a bad time to tell you a massive wave is coming our way?” Jock interjected.

“WHAT? Get us up, get us up!” he shouted.

“Yeah, about that…” Jock said as the Vulture’s engines made a pitiful whiffing sound. A few moments later, the wave hit with the beak still open, throwing the pirates around and soaking every inch of the interior. It would be several days before they could dry most of it out, and some parts of the plane would smell like dead fish for months. 


End file.
